What makes a sandwich, 'A Sandwich'?

Two slices of bread on top of each other isn't filled with nothing. It's full of air, and that means the possibility of flight, which makes it a duck's favourite sandwich.
― Jarod Kintz, Ducks are the stars of the karaoke bird world

The metaphysics of a sandwich is a deep and complex subject, one that has puzzled philosophers for centuries. If we deconstruct a sandwich down to its individual ingredients, what makes it a sandwich? Is it the bread, the filling, or the way they are put together? What if I keep the peanut butter and the jam on the outside? Then it quickly becomes a wichsand, which is a delicacy from where your mom is.

A sandwich can be divided into two parts. The bread, and the filling. First, let's consider the bread. Without bread, is a sandwich still a sandwich? Some might argue that bread is the defining characteristic of a sandwich, and without it, it's just a pile of filling. But others might counter that bread is just a vessel for the filling, and a sandwich can be made with other types of bread-like substances, such as lettuce wraps or tortillas. So, the bread alone does not necessarily make a sandwich a sandwich.

I hate the Kiwis, man. For the water sandwich and the 2019 Cricket WC semi-final.

Next, let's consider the filling. Is the filling the key ingredient that makes a sandwich a sandwich? After all, a sandwich without filling is just two slices of bread, and that's not very satisfying. But then again, the filling doesn't have to be the traditional sandwich fillings like meat, cheese, and vegetables. A peanut butter and jelly sandwich, for example, is still a sandwich, even though the filling is not what we usually think of when we think of sandwich filling. So, the filling alone does not make a sandwich a sandwich.

Finally, let's consider the way the ingredients are put together. Is it the act of putting the bread and filling together that makes a sandwich a sandwich? If that's the case, then any old combination of bread and filling would qualify as a sandwich. But we all know that's not true. There's a certain je ne sais quoi (a quality that cannot be described or named easily) about a sandwich that makes it a sandwich, and it's not just the way the ingredients are put together. That means the wichsand ≠ sandwich.

Behold A Sandwinge

So, what is it that makes a sandwich a sandwich? The answer is simple: it's the sandwichness of the sandwich. It's the essence of sandwichness that makes a sandwich a sandwich, and that essence cannot be broken down into its individual ingredients. A sandwich is a sandwich because it is a sandwich, and that's all there is to it.

Is this a sandwich?

It is. Although, just a tad bit too much bread to my liking. But that does not take away its sandwichness. This is also exactly the reason why a hotdog is not a sandwich, simply because it is a hotdog.

What makes you is the youness of you. It's the essence of youness that makes you a you, and not me. You are you because you are you, and that's all there is to it.

So the next time someone asks you what makes a sandwich a sandwich, you can confidently reply, "It's the sandwichness of the sandwich, my friend. The sandwichness of the sandwich." They may think you're a weirdo, but you're just a person I deeply love and care about. Let me kiss you goodnight to bed tonight, homie.

If you have read this far, please DM me and let me know what you thought about today's newsletter. If it even makes a single person's day, my day is made, too.

Yours seducingly,

Frodo Mercury

The Lord of the G-Strings

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